Do I?
by Lisa4
Summary: Mamoru wonders what his true feelings are for a certain Odango Atama.


Title: Do I?  
Author: Lisa  
Rating: G  
Author's Notes:  
Well, here's another VERY short story I wrote. It's in the 1st season of Sailor Moon, and is in Mamoru's p.o.v. I hope everyone will enjoy this fic. This fic could be categorized with my other story, "Roses." Let's just say that this fic ties in with the first few chapters of it, (after you finish reading this story and liked it, please check out "Roses" too, please.) even though this story is considered as a separate story. Well, with all that said, enjoy!  
Disclaimers: Sailor Moon and the others don't belong to me, but this story does.  
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What is this feeling that I feel in my heart? For the bubbly Odango Atama who is full of light, love? She is very active, funny. But do I hate her? My mind tells me that I do, but is it true? Every time we, after an exchange of insults and bad comments...leave. She doesn't mean anything to me...right? I compelled myself to believe that in the beginning. But now I have doubts. My heart disagrees. My heart aches knowing her bright smiles, cheery laughter could never be presented to me. But why do I feel that way? Why do I care that she hates me, despises my very being? Is it because I...care for her?  
  
I see her walking down the street as cheery as ever. She was with the other girls, talking and laughing. Something in me told me to go over and say hi. I did just that...sort of.  
  
"Odango Atama, how nice to see you today. I wonder how long you can walk without tripping." I said smoothly, a teasing glint in my eyes. One problem though. The second that her hated nickname slipped out of my mouth, I regretted it. Her face turned pink with anger. Well, can't say that she didn't look cute that way... Her eyes seemed to have fire in them. Like a volcano ready to explode.  
"How dare you Mamoru-baka! You insensitive jerk!" She screamed at me. Ouch. That one hurt. I cringed. Used to, we would insult each other all the time, and I didn't feel hurt in any way. Now, each hated word she says, each glare she gives me, hurts me like a deep wound. If only I could stop teasing her, to make her see how nice I can really be. That has always been hard for me. I guess I have never really been close to anyone before. Sure I talk with Motoki all the time, but I've never really felt the other kind of close, the one between a girl. It seems like I have never really let go of my past. I know now, to win Usagi's heart...I need to let go, and show her the caring person I can be. I want to be friends with her, if at all possible.  
  
Usagi left with her friends. I looked after her longingly. "Usagi...you'll see." I whisper to her disappearing form. But do I really care all that much? Does she really mean so much to me?  
  
The arcade was crowded that time of day, just as always. Any minute now..Usagi would step inside with her friends, joking, laughing. Usagi had a crush on Motoki, as I had found out from Motoki himself. He seemed to feel natural about it, not really caring, saying it was just a schoolgirl crush, that she would get over it soon. But, as soon as I had heard it, I could feel jealousy bubbling, boiling in my veins. I am not usually the jealous type...but I guess Usagi is an exception to that.  
  
I sat there, staring at my now empty cup, eyes darting around back forth, anxious for the arrival of Usagi. Motoki was presently wiping off the counter with a towel, shaking his head.   
"Mamoru, you have got it bad." He told me, snapping me out of my tranced state.  
"Huh?" I say, not really listening to him. No, I was too busy waiting for Usagi.   
  
Motoki continued to polish the counter. "You...like Usagi, don't you?" He asked slyly, eyes twinkling. My mouth dropped open. Was it that obvious? I mean, do I really feel that way? I used to think it was just hate...  
"Nani? What an idea!" I reply to him, but he could see right through me. "I don't!" I said, but he just gave me a look that said, 'whatever.' Rolling my eyes, I go back to waiting for Usagi to come.  
"Mamoru, if you really do like her, tell her so." I could hear Motoki saying to me.   
I face him. "I can't. I don't know if I even like her or not." I answered slowly.  
"Well, then spend some time with her and see. Stop teasing her so much, you know how much she dislikes that." Motoki pointed out.  
  
It sounded easy enough, only, how could I? The truth was, I couldn't stop teasing her. Every time she comes near me, this teasing side of me take over. "Sure." I said. "Motoki, maybe you could...let me handle things my way?" I suggested.  
He shrugged his shoulders. "Suit yourself."   
  
Usagi walks in with her friends, her cheeks pink from being out. Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she and the others sat down on their usual booth. The sun poured in from the windows, hitting directly on Usagi. The glow illuminated her entire body, giving her an angelic look.   
  
I started at her, mouth wide open. Sure, I knew I looked like some obsessed guy, but I couldn't help it. So there I was, gawking at her while she talked with her friends.  
Motoki sat there, waving his hands over my face. "Mamoru..hello?"  
"Hai?" I asked dazedly, not really being myself.   
Motoki grinned, giving me a slight nudge. "Go on." He persisted. I never seen Motoki doing this before..I guess this was one of those days. "Talk to her."  
  
So I found myself walking towards her booth bewilderedly, still mesmerized by her exceptional beauty. I was sure to make a big fool out of myself today, all thanks to my old pal Motoki.   
  
She sat there, chattering with her friends, looking as innocent as ever. She looked so happy...I almost felt sorry that I was going to ruin her happiness.  
Walking over to the booth, I cleared my throat, feeling apprehensive. The girls became silent all of a sudden, making me even more nervous.  
  
"Odang...I stopped there and corrected myself just in time. "Usagi, can I talk with you?" The girls exchanged sly looks, murmuring comments into each other's ear. I could see Usagi fidgeting under her seat, trying to make her decision, hoping she wouldn't regret it later. Not this time. I was going to make sure she wouldn't regret talking with me.  
  
  
"Uh...sure." She answered slowly, unsure of herself. The other girls giggled happily, and began to slide out of the booth. Usagi looked at them, her eyes saying 'where are you going?." The girls rubbed their hands seductively.  
"Usagi-chan, I think you and Mamoru-san should...discuss matters alone." Makoto suggested, nudging Ami.  
"Uh..yes, I agree." Ami answered, glancing at a satisfied.   
"Okay..." Usagi replied, and watched as the other girls go over to the counter where Motoki was sweeping at.  
  
I sat down at the other side, glancing at Usagi. She played with a strand of her hair, twisting it around her slender fingers. "Mamoru-ba..uh...Mamoru-san, what do you wish to talk about?" She inquired, her blue eyes meeting my gaze.  
  
I faltered. "Usagi..I'm.." The words seemed so hard to say... "Gomen nasai for what happened earlier this morning." I state, letting out a breath of relief as she smiled.  
"Oh. It's okay." She replied, the smile still lingering on her face. I felt light...happy that she wasn't giving me those hated looks, but instead...giving me one of her radiant smiles.  
  
"Mamoru-san?"  
"Hai?"  
Usagi hesitated. "Why do you always tease me?" She asked.  
I gulped, looking into those big, bright-blue sapphire eyes. They were so...guileless. I sigh, not knowing how to answer her question.  
"Because you hate me? Is that it?" Her voice came out a dry whisper.  
My eyes went wide. Is that how she thought of my constant teasing and mocking...that I hated her? Looking at her eyes filled with tears, I wanted to bang my head on the table a million times, to tell her that I don't hate her and never will. My heart felt so guilty making her feel that way...  
  
"Iie!" I exclaim, surprising her. "I could never hate you." I reply more softly. Usagi seemed to let loose hearing that statement I just uttered.  
"Really?"  
I smiled. "Of course. But...do you hate me?" I inquired softly, eyes downcast. I was sure she would say yes.  
"No." She replied softly. "I just don't like you teasing me, that's all."  
  
Today was becoming a very good day for me. I made sure to thank Motoki a million times tomorrow. He was right, talking with her did help.  
"Then I won't tease you anymore, will that be okay?"  
Hearing that, Usagi beamed. "Really? You mean that?"   
I chuckled, seeing the bewildered expression on her face. "Hai, I do."  
  
Usagi's friends stared at the couple, giggling happily. "Hey Motoki, do you think they will become a couple?" Makoto inquired, eyes shining with amusement.  
Motoki laughed. "Of course. It's just in a matter of time..."  
  
  
Usagi blushed from being under my intense gaze. Looking down at her watch, she shrieked, frightening me. "Iie! It's four-thirty already?" She asked indecorously. "I have to go!" She stood up quickly, preparing to sprint out of the arcade in record speed.   
I didn't want her to go, not just yet.  
  
"Can I walk you home?" I asked, eyes pleading with her. Usagi contemplated this for a second before shrugging her shoulders in an adorable fashion.   
"Sure, as long as Dad doesn't see you..."  
My heart skipped a beat. I could imagine Usagi's father chasing me with a gun, screaming threats behind my back as I ran for my life. Was I willing to take that risk, and walk her home. Only one answer: yes. I nodded. "Alright." I agreed.  
  
The walk was more of a jog I thought silently as we sprinted down the sidewalk, bumping into the people on the street. But Usagi didn't seem to care. I guess she was used to this...  
We came to her house in a flash, perspiration lingering on our foreheads, breathing heavily as we tried to catch our breath.   
"Break a record?" I asked teasingly, expecting Usagi to say something back. Instead, she only smiled.  
"I'm in too good a mood to be angry at you." She answered sweetly, batting her eyelashes. "I guess I'll see you later, Mamoru-san."  
I smiled. "Hai, at the arcade."  
Usagi nodded. "Right." She then did something I never thought possible. She came closer to me, embracing me tightly. "Arigato. I'm glad we're getting along." She whispered.   
I sigh. This had to be heaven. To feel her arms around me, my arms wrapped around her body...this was bliss.   
"Me too." I breath back, my senses filled with the exotic fragrance of her silky hair. I could stay like this forever, I realized.  
  
But of course, that wasn't possible. Usagi let go, much to my disappointment, a small blush on her cheeks. "Ja ne." She said to me, and ran off to her house, me looking after her.  
"Ja ne."  
Today had to be the best day of my life, undoubtably. Not mention I had everything figured out. Do I hate her? That's a definite no. However, I do know something. I care for her...deeply.  
*************  
*sighs* I know, poorly written, moved too fast, spelling and grammatical errors, etc. But, that was a fic, and I thought it was..okay. Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW!!!! If you're reading this, please review. Please?? Or e-mail. ^_^ My e-mail address is LisaZUMstories@aol.com. Well, until next time, ja ne minna!  



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